Usa Forum - SweetSpearGirl's Last Gasp - Chapter 1

ImperiusDamian

7/1/2010 6:22:00 PM

Yes, it's FINALLY HERE!!! ;)

Pretty HTML version complete with screenshots can be found HERE:
http://www.damiansdominion.byethost7.com/diablo/ss...

"SweetSpearGirl's Last Gasp"

STARRING:
SweetSpearGirl, of Infinite Fame and Speariness - Level 66
Euyfura, Her Lover and Ruthless Rogue
The Ubiquitous Valk, Lady LessFrequentRecastSince1.11

CHAPTER ONE: "HYMN TO THE SPEARGIRL IN THE HALL OF THE SIGHTLESS EYE"

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY
ARE
THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

"...Oh, no. You again!"
The Valkyrie appeared in the Rogue camp, her big glowing self
standing
near Euyfura, who shielded her eyes.

"Yep. Me again," SweetSpearGirl said. "Once again, you're needed. One
very, very last time. How many times is this now anyway, Euyfura?"

"Twenty-two, I think," the Rogue said. "But who's counting?"

"Evidently not me," SweetSpearGirl said. "Fuck, I really need to
retire. This is getting ridiculous."

But before a happy retirement, there was much to be done.
SweetSpearGirl stretched out in the gloomy weather, marvelling at how
- for once - it wasn't raining, and went to talk to Akara. She knew
what would be needed first of all: the Den, as per usual. Not that
she
minded this particular excursion, since it would grant her a skill
point, a respec, and from the looks of her experience bar, a level
up...

"You know," Euyfura commented as the trio left the town gate, "Akara
considers you a good friend these days."

"By now Greiz probably considers me like a sister!" the Amazon shot
back. "We've done far too much world-saving. I'm getting old, girl."

"That's okay," Euyfura said. "I still love you."

"Bleuck!" the Valk commented. "You two are disgusting!"
Euyfura rolled her eyes at this, firing off an arrow at the first
beastie which showed up - a Quill Rat, soon followed by zombies and
Fallen. Everybody was immune to something, but thankfully nobody was
Physical Immune and a pack of champion Zombies later, SweetSpearGirl
stood by the entrance to the Den of Evil.

However, she decided to forego this adventure for now, in favour of
clearing the rest of the Moor first.

"I want that level up," she said.

"Why?" Euyfura asked. "Not much difference between 66 and 67 for
clearing the Den. It's not like you've got a Natural Resists skill
like a Barb."

"Wish I did," the spearazon muttered. "Shit hurts in this wotld now.
It's not like it used to be, Euyfura. Everything's so much tougher
nowadays."

"Except there's no MSLEBs," Euyfura said.

"Don't remind me. Chaos Shifter? Gods have mercy..."

"So why the need to level up first?"

"Tougher Decoy, why else? Oh, and a few more life points."

"Oh. Okay."

However, before the Den - or even the level-up - could be tackled,
there was Mind Eye the Dead - a super-charged Extra Fast Fallen who
was Cursed and cold enchanted - to deal with. His minions oh so
quickly chilled and stunned SweetSpearGirl, and before she could run
away, the curse went off and she fell to the grass, as dead as a
doornail, the Valk and Euyfura screaming as they expired at the same
time.

Thankfully, death is not a permanent problem in SweetSpearGirl's
world, and after resurrecting herself, the Rogue and the Valk
("You're
a real dumbass sometimes." - "Can it, Valk."), by dint of casting
many
Decoys in the area, our temporarily gear-less heroine helped Euyfura
and the Valk pick off the minions one by one while she searched for
the corpse she'd let fall. Eventually she recovered it - picking up
an
Experience shrine along the way - and was happy to hear the heavenly
DING! that signalled her level-up to 67 as she massacred the last
minion. The boss himself proved little trouble on his own and his
last
name was soon very true, although with his death explosion he did
curse SweetSpearGirl again.

"So much for the Experience shrine," she muttered.

"At least we didn't die again," Euyfura said.

"Shut up, you."

"Forget I said anything."

"Don't worry, I will."

"You're bitchy today."

"Well I did just die to a damn goblin!" SweetSpearGirl retorted in
frustration. "I swear, I'm getting too old for this shit."

"Oh, come on," Euyfura said. "We're not that old!"

"Uh... 1.09?" SweetSpearGirl shot back.

"Oh. Right..."

"I'm still young and beautiful!" the Valk said perkily; the Amazon
and
the Rogue pointedly ignored this.

Up and down the Blood Moor the trio ranged, stabbing and shooting
goblins, Quill Rats and anything else that tried to menace them. Mind
Eye, however, was not the last boss to show up in that short stretch
of grass between the camp gates and the Cold Plains waypoint. Another
Fallen boss, this one a bright red Stone Skin with a spectral hit and
another cold enchantment (immune to fire, immune to cold, just like
the last one) showed up near the river. Bone Fist the Mad was his
name, but SweetSpearGirl managed to shake him off onto the Decoy and
after that he went down pretty darn sharpish. He dropped a two-socket
Sharktooth Armour, which SweetSpearGirl had an inkling might be
useful
but wasn't sure yet, and a fat purple.

Having plugged her level 67 points into Vitality and Decoy, boosting
her life to 751, SweetSpearGirl crossed the stone bridge over the
river and met Bane Wight (spectral hit, stone skin, lightning
enchanted), their first physical-immune LEB in this world. However,
since he was only a Quill Rat, he didn't pose much of a problem (with
the exception of SweetSpearGirl needing a purple) and was soon biting
the dust. He dropped a blue Shako. Despite this victory, it was only
seconds later that Puke Pus the Sharp ("disgusting!" the Valk said)
trotted into view.

"How come all these goblins are cold enchanted?" Euyfura groused.

"Beats me," SweetSpearGirl said. "You're okay; you get to stand back
from it! This one won't feel too good!"

Puke Pus was fire-enchanted and cursed as well, which was how
SweetSpearGirl knew he would hurt. He died very quickly, but his
death
blast not only cursed SweetSpearGirl again, but took off half her
life! Thankfully, he'd dropped several phat reds which swiftly
boosted
her health back up to its normal level. (She was a little nervous
about life-leeching from monsters while cursed, since they were
hitting much harder now...)

An Ort rune dropped from a chest in a nearby abandoned cottage, which
made SweetSpearGirl rather happy although as she remarked to Euyfura,
"I was rather hoping for a Lum. The family retainer has a Nef and I
could have Smoked that armour."

"Yeah, the Stealth isn't really doing it for you any more, is it?"

"A Gothic Plate Stealth? In this world? This isn't 1.09, girl. The
days when a girl could go to Hell Baal and back wearing one of those
are long gone."

"I thought as much. Shame it's not a four-socket armour."

"Like I'll ever have the runes for Fortitude or Chains of Honour!"

"You never know."

"You're awfully optimistic, Rogue."

"Well, we have been seeing a lot more runes than usual. Maybe you can
find some good stuff."

"There is that. Anyway, back to the killing?"

"Sure thing!"

The Valk, who was busy reading a book she'd found in the cottage,
said
nothing until Euyfura grabbed her by the arm.
"That's a Tome of Town Portal, not a novel, idiot!"

"...Oh," the Valk said, crestfallen. "Good story, though."

Back to the fight. A few more zombie champions later ("
Braaaains...")
and SweetSpearGirl gained the Cold Plains waypoint, and then doubled
back to head down into the Den of Evil.

The Den turned out to be unremarkable, honestly: the only boss pack
present was Corpsefire's (spectral hit, extra strong, stone skin
today) and while his being immune to physical ensured a lengthy
fight,
our heroes gritted their teeth and bravely assaulted him. His drop
was
far less than noteworthy, so SweetSpearGirl was moderately pleased
that some anonymous zombie had coughed up Sigon's gothic plate which,
while worthless to her, spiked her hope of more useful green or even
gold items dropping farther ahead.

"Well, that was a bust," Euyfura said.

"Wasn't it? Nothing interesting at all, really. Well, except the
Sigon's Shelter I guess, not that I know anyone remotely interested
in
using it."

"That paladin, Khasekhem, might in a few levels."

"Yeah, if I wanted to insult him. He's already got Scrote's old
Stealth chainmail set aside for when he's old enough."

"Everyone we know is wearing a Stealth. Including me! Wonder why?"

"Because it's by far one of the easiest runewords to make. Tal, Eth
and a two-socket armour, what could be more common?"

"Steel?" Euyfura remarked snarkily and SweetSpearGirl snorted.
"If I made a Steel, I'd be a laughing-stock. Even in a Matriarchal
Pike I'd be looking at something like a fifth of the damage
Stoneraven
does..."

"True, that," the Valk put in. "How about a Fury?"

"Who has a Gul or a Jah?" Euyfura snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Nobody I know!" SweetSpearGirl said.

They turned and headed back to the Den's entrance. SweetSpearGirl
groaned softly as she used the haft of her spear to help herself up
the stairs back out into the open; she was aching all over and was
looking forward to a rest.

"Damn, I am getting old," she said. "Few years ago I could have run
up
those stairs and still had the energy left to slaughter everything
from here to the Cairn Stones."

"Tell me about it," Euyfura said. "My arms ache these days from
pulling the bowstring."

The trio made their way back to the Rogue camp, where Kashya's bitchy
attitude was unchanged, despite her desire for SweetSpearGirl to go
out and whack Blood Raven immediately. Akara, on the other hand, was
grateful as usual, giving our hero a skill point ("Decoy again,"
SweetSpearGirl said), and a respec (which she did not use. Yet...),
and SweetSpearGirl decided that, on the whole, she needed to take a
rest before she made an attempt at Blood Raven. The Blood Moor bosses
had been dicey, and she wanted to be a bit less achey when she tried
the ones in the Cold Plains for size.

TO BE CONTINUED...

alt.games.diablo

SweetSpearGirl's Last Gasp - Chapter 1

ImperiusDamian

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